We have recently returned from our honeymoon having had our wedding day at the Grand Hotel, and it truly was one of the best days of our lives.

We first visited the Grand a year ago on a day trip to see if it was suitable for our wedding, and i fell in love with it instantly. I could only guess how many zeros it would cost to get married there.

However it is free, yes FREE to get married in their beautiful gardens, as long as you eat there afterwards.

Ah, the catch, i thought, how much would that be per person?

Well we had 1h30mins of an open cocktail bar, with endless champagne, olives and strawberries, then a fantastic 4 course meal, including a bottle of wine per person, followed by cheese, chocolates, coffees and a 2ft profiterole tower. This cost £100 per person, which i thought was very reasonable. We've chewed through over cooked beef in lumpy sauce at English weddings at £40 a head.

Dinner on the terrace was beautiful, and the day after spent swimming in the infinity pool at the Club Dauphin was the most relaxed day of the honeymoon.

We found that staff to be friendly and helpful and at all times through out the day and the year of planning. Our french wedding co ordinator had dealt with many prestigious hotels in the area, and commented particularly on how helpful the staff were.

We could only afford to stay the one night, but if we win the lottery we would be straight back!

Let's get something straight from the start. This is the French Riviera. There is only one. This is one of the MOST prestigious hotels on the Cote, in some of the MOST expensive few acres (the Cap) on the Cote. Anybody expecting anything other than snooty French doormen, especially Monsieur Jacques, and high prices should look somewhere else. However, if you are still reading and have £60 to spend on a pool-side burger and chips (fries for you Americans) for two, then prepare to stay in one of the most idyllic places on earth. My girlfriend and I shared a beautifully furnished, large sized room on the top floor, with views to the mountains one side and over the restaurant terrace to the sea on the other. Wonderful.

Having walked through the lush garden of the hotel, you must cross a quiet road to access Club Dauphin, the hotel's pool paradise. Within the rocky hillside gardens is a 50m salt water infinity pool overlooking the Med. It's doesn't get better than this. On a busy day I shared this pool with maybe two others for 10 minutes, otherwise I was free to plough up and down, catching a solid blue horizon stretching out from me at every breath.

The Restaurant terrace was beautiful in the evening, with soft lighting and wonderful food. The only downpoint here being rain one evening when we had to eat in the old-fashioned restaurant inside. Disappointingly drab.

To sum up. It is hugely expensive, a little isolated from other distractions, and full of stuffy french waiters, but you'll never stay anywhere like it. I'd recommend a night here just to swim in the pool. (Phil Green worth £500million plus chose here for his son's 4day-long bar mitzvah. He could have surely chosen anywhere, but not everywhere looks as good as this!)

Foreward: I am completing this review to provide full disclosure for those who may consider staying at this establishment.

We just stayed three nights at the Grand-Hotel du Cap Ferrat ending June 26th. Let me give you some straight skinny:

The Trip:
We just completed an 8 day trip from Paris-to-Loire Valley-to-Riviera (3 nights at the Grand-Hotel). The dollar is very weak against the Euro, so high prices get even steeper when you land. By the time we got to the Hotel du Cap at the end of the trip, I thought the FX sticker shock had subsided....wrong. It was just starting...

Background:
My wife and I are well traveled, graduate level educated, high income earners who currently live in the SE part of the USA. We typically stay at a Ritz-Carlton or Four Seasons when vacationing. We stayed at this hotel based on the recommendation of a close friend (who cannot spend all the money he earns. The guy has the midas touch, God bless him. We, on the other hand, earn our moolah). That said,

If you seek to maxmize value for your weakening USD, this is not the place. While the RCarlton and 4Seasons seek to make your stay pleasant, this place is very similar to the Breakers in Palm Beach. They assume you will not even look at your bill when you check out (and I assume many, if not most, of the guests, do not). This place will nickel and dime (I mean quarter and dollar) you for everything they do. Do not expect anything gratis (i.e. Club Level treatment or bennys as found at the RCarlton or 4 Seasons).

This hotel is located at the end of a penisula in a very toney resdential area known as Cap-Ferrat. There are no immediate alternatives or cafes to the Grand-Hotel, you wanna eat or drink, you do it here.

We arrived about 9pm on a Thursday night after a 6 hour ride on the TGV. The dining room closes at 10p, so we quickly went ot our small 12' x 12' room (yes, I said 12 foot by 12 foot), changed and went to eat. We had a superb dinner (cocktail, appetizer, main course, dessert and a $80USD bottle of wine). The bill? $400 USD.

The next morning we had coffee on the restaurant patio (4 small cups of outstanding coffee in a small carafe). No food. The cost? $40 USD.

Warning: When we left for breakfast, we placed everything we could in the too small in-room safe (cameras, cell phones, i-pod, etc.). We placed the "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door and left the room. As we were leaving, we said good morning to the the maid (who saw us leave). When we returned, the DND sign was gone and our room had been cleaned (including 60 Euros that my wife left in one of her travel purses on the desk). Needless to say, 60 euros won't throw us into taking welfare, but the real crime was the maid had violated our request for privacy (and security) by entering the room despite the DND sign.

When I complained to the Front Office Manager, he actually rolled his eyes at me and sneered! I thought I was in a Peter Sellers movie. I almost opened up a can of good 'ol US of A whip *** on his skinny underdeveloped frame right there. But, being the diplomat I am, I decided to use my Wall Street developed trader experience and drill through that little brain of his. We met in the lobby with the housekeeping manager and, I could tell by the way they responded, this must be a frequent occurance. By the time I finished, I'm sure they were looking forward to the day we left. "Do not Disturb means DO NOT DISTURB! STAY OUT OF MY ROOM! Do I need to say it english, french, italian and russian?". They understood.

I also demanded he keep my company laptop in the front desk safe so it wouldn't grow legs either. It seems they have very nice safe deposit boxes behind a secure metal door, to which YOU keep one key and they the other. (My advice: If you have anything you cannot live without, put it there. The digital room safes can be compromised because a master code exists and God who knows who in this place has access to it.)

"Why do you rob banks, Willy?"
"Cause that's where the money is"
Wille Sutton, famous bank robber

"Why do you rob the guests at the Grand-Hotel du Cap Ferrat?"
"Cause that's where the money is"
Anonymous Grand-Hotel housekeeper

(Once I returned to the US, I spoke with a friend of mine from France who told me that labor laws in France prohibit firing someone unless they show cause (i.e. theft of guest's property) three times in a six month period. So, he said, the hotel management couldn't have done anything anyway.)

But I digress...

Some pricing facts:
-One Dewars on the rocks: $26USD
-One bottle of beer: $19USD
-One hamburger at the Grand-Hotel swimming pool: $47USD
-One small bottle of Avian water: $15USD
-Ironing 2 pairs of pants (for the bride, not me): $40USD
-Cost of $1 Euro at Grand Hotel du Cap Ferrat: $1.40USD
-Cost of $1 Euro at current open market exchange rate: $1.23USD
-Limo (Mercedes S-Class) from Nice train station to hotel:$215USD
-Taxi to Monte Carlo (20 minutes): $78USD
-Taxi to Nice Airport (20 minutes): $91USD
-The least expensive room: $720USD per day (that comes to $1 per minute).
-My total bill for 3 nights / 2 days: $3,007.55USD

My recap:
-The Grand Hotel du Cap Ferrat is a hotel not a resort.
-The Grand Hotel du Cap Ferrat is a place with snooty, not warm, service.
-The Grand Hotel du Cap Ferrat is a place with very small rooms.
-The Grand Hotel du Cap Ferrat is not a secure place. (Bring your own security detail).
-The Grand Hotel du Cap Ferrat is an expensive place with no competition.
-The Grand Hotel du Cap Ferrat is a place for the super-rich, super-rich wanna-bes or the ignorant (make sure you fall in one these categories, I place myself in the last category).
-The Grand Hotel du Cap Ferrat is a place that expects you to pay for anything they do on your behalf (and make an Enron size profit in the process).
-In my opinion, the Grand Hotel du Cap Ferrat is more flash than actual substance (the service measurement is not in the effort expended, but in the actual deliverable).

This is the Riveria, so keep in mind there are NUMEROUS high-end places to stay that offer as much or more for the money. If we were to return, we would stay in one of the hotels north of Monte Carlo. There is more to do, better views, and more alternatives (no Grand-Hotel monopoly on food or bottled water) and while busy, not over-run with activity (at least not in June).

Finally, we had an unpleasant experience (the theft and DND sign), so please qualify this review accordingly. Bon voyage.

Just recently stayed 2 nights at the Grand Hotel. The location, staff, pool, rooms, food are all top notch. This is the place to come if you want to relax like royalty. Very highly recommended. The only down-side would be the expense. The rooms are well worth it, the food was a bit outrageous at times.